by Elise Bowerman
I’ve resonated with the phrase, “I’ll light a candle for you” since I first lit a candle for someone else years ago. Each time I walked by the candle with my toddler and newborn amidst the craziness of our day, I was reminded someone is going through a challenge and needs extra care right now. With a simple glance at the flame my mind traveled to that birthing woman. In less than a second I was sending her wisdom, strength, compassion, resilience and healing for her, her baby and those supporting her.
It takes a lot longer to write all this down. Those sentiments pass through in a blink of an eye. When the candle keeps burning the messages are repeated throughout the day or night as I enter into the room where the flame reminds me to continue holding space for someone else.
Now, there are religious ceremonies and traditions in which candles are lit for someone. I’m not talking about that here. This is not tied to any religious group; however you may notice similar intentions here and there. It’s all about love. The love we have for someone else.
The Lighter of the Candle
When you are lighting a candle for someone in need - or in celebration, it likely means you are valued. This person trusted you to send love, healing, courage, acceptance, forgiveness, peace, joy, etc. because they know you will honor the process of whatever they may be going through.
As you open yourself to someone else’s energy (you needn’t be present with one another) you invite yourself to feel. Empathy is one of the greatest virtues we humans can give to another. The ego melts away as understanding and compassion take over.
This gives you the gift of not interfering with someone else’s life path. While you support them, at the same time, you allow them to listen to their inner wisdom to trust what is to come next.
Use any candle you wish to. There’s no right or wrong way. I love using candles like the ones above. The little glass candle in the picture above says “wisdom” and is infused with Reiki energy from a Reiki Master.
Some people like using certain colors of candles as they may hold different meanings.
(Always be sure to never leave a candle in reach of small hands and unattended. Blow out when leaving, and if you haven’t heard anything different by the asker, then light it again.)
Asking for a Candle to be Lit
Asking for help is one of the most vulnerable feelings we have. In our modern world it’s really hard to share when or how we are struggling. Trusting family, friends and the communities you’re involved in to give you strength when you need it most will actually relieve a great deal of stress. By talking with others about your situation and why you would like them to light a candle or hold space for you, helps you to verbalize what you’re going through while letting others in. You’ll have a tighter bond with whomever you trust to support you after the challenge is over – whether it takes hours, days or years to process.
Knowing you are not alone is crucial to get through anything. In the midst of a challenge, like childbirth, being aware that at least one person has lit a candle will likely give you boosts of energy throughout the process.
All You Have to do is Ask
It’s so easy and so hard at the same time! Share this post if you’re unsure your friend or family member won’t understand what you mean by lighting a candle. You must ask in order to receive. Be specific in your fears and anxieties. This will help the “lighter” to be vigilant in their thoughts.
Baby Shower / Blessingway Ideas for Guests
The BIRTHday Candle
This "birth" day candle will light the way for "Baby ______" on his/her arrival day. So make a wish and say a prayer for this new family and the blessings they share.
This is a gift for you today. When baby's born you'll light the way. And when the happy day is here, burn this candle and spread good cheer.
Burn this light on the night, once the stork has made it's flight. With the flicker of its flame please say a prayer in our baby's name.